Tell Me That You Love Me 2023 K Drama Episode 3-4

He’s rude because other people misunderstand him when they don’t know he’s deaf. He’s rude because people are forced to come to the door if he knocks, rather than just calling through the door in response. He’s rude because he zones out and misses what people are saying. All of this he tells us from a place of isolation (“a very deep sea”), feeling like he’s on the outside of something that everyone else is a part of — and worse, it’s something he can’t control. But by the end of these episodes, he starts to question how much is circumstance and how much is his own responsibility.

We learn that Jin-woo was raised in an orphanage and lost his hearing when he was seven, due to a high fever. He learned sign language from the orphanage director, whom he’s still close with, and that’s also where he met his best friend, HONG KI-HYUN (Heo Joon-seok) — the bar owner he hangs out with regularly.

We get a tip that perspective shifts are coming when Ki-hyun says that Jin-woo is kind but cold. He closes himself off, unwilling to give or receive anything from anyone. Ki-hyun implants the idea that Jin-woo feels like he doesn’t belong, in part, because he doesn’t try to connect.

We see this in action when Mo-eun invites Jin-woo to another concert, since they missed the last one. He says no, adding that he can enjoy music but he doesn’t like it. Mo-eun looks a bit embarrassed but then suggests they go see paintings instead. He tells her that he’s grateful that she saved him from the fire in Jeju, and because of it, he would be there for her if she needs him. But, she should enjoy good things with someone else. “Someone to be comfortable with and who’s a good match for you.” Ouch.

Their conversation is interesting because it’s quite a long scene, and it’s just two people sitting at a table, one of them writing in a notebook (in what feels like real time), and then turning the book so the other can read it. Back and forth, over and over, they pass the notebook, until what needs to be said is said. By the end, it feels like he’s written her a rejection letter. And the pain of it lies in how tense the scene is while waiting and wondering what he’s going to write.

The story moves on to Mo-eun’s perspective and we see her struggling to achieve her acting dreams. In a brutal sequence, she’s offered a one-line role in a film, where she has booze dumped over her head and is slapped in the face. They roll through take after take — and the slaps are real. It’s horribly demeaning, but she suffers through it with the hope that it’s the start of something in her career. Like last week when we saw Jin-woo demeaned by the police, it’s frustrating to watch and puts us right in the pain of our character.

After the shoot, Mo-eun is upset and Jin-woo is the first person she wants to contact. He doesn’t respond to her texts, though, since he’s been taking some days off and avoiding his phone while mourning the death of a child from his former orphanage. But as Mo-eun sadly stumbles home, she finds him outside her house (he received her texts after all), and pulls him into a back hug before letting out some cathartic tears. Afterward, she tells him a little about what happened, but just seeing him has made her feel better. She goes home lighter than she was before.

The next time they see each other at the museum (where Mo-eun is also working part-time now as a guide), Jin-woo admits he’s not sure what she said that night in front of her house. It was dark and she talked fast. He couldn’t read her lips well, but he tried. Mo-eun thanks him for trying to listen and for doing his best. And it’s this response that catalyzes the change that’s coming in Jin-woo’s thinking.

They continue their conversation, using a translator on his phone that turns her words into text so he can read them. When the phone dies, leaving them unsure of what’s just been said, Jin-woo wants to know if it’s frustrating for Mo-eun that he can’t hear. She says she feels understood by him, so sometimes she forgets that he can’t hear. Then she adds that it must be hard for him too, since her sign language isn’t very good.

Jin-woo thinks back on this conversation with Mo-eun while talking to Ki-hyun. Because he’s thinking, rather than looking at Ki-hyun’s hands, he realizes he’s just missed what Ki-hyun said. He narrates that this kind of thing happens often, but he doesn’t want to be inconsiderate by asking people to repeat every little thing they say, so he smiles and nods even if he hasn’t understood.

But then, he remembers Mo-eun thanking him for listening and trying to understand her. It’s never occurred to him before that he could be thanked for trying to listen. “All this time, what have I drawn the line for? Whom have I tried to distance myself from? Maybe it’s not just that I can’t hear. Maybe I’ve only tried to listen closely to what I wanted to hear.” Jin-woo is rethinking things because of what Mo-eun said, but I think it’s also because she’s someone that he wants to listen to.

Later on, Mo-eun gets a big break when an actress is injured and Mo-eun replaces her in a stage play that’s going live that very night. She’s been acting for film, not live performances, and she’s nervous beyond belief. We see her go out on stage alone, and as soon as the lights hit her, she freezes. She’s looking out at the audience, paralyzed, until she spots Jin-woo (whom she’s texted at the last minute to invite). Jin-woo signs to her from his seat: “You’ll do a good job. I believe in you.” And then he gives her a little nod as our episodes end for the week.

Whoa. That last scene gave me chills. I love how they can communicate at that depth, but at that distance. Here we see the first signs of change in both of them, with Mo-eun strengthened and comforted by him so she can move forward on stage with her acting dream. And after Jin-woo’s tiny epiphany about his own role in the barrier between him and the world, it’s a big step for him to show up for her and be the one to convey the comforting words.

There is a lingering possible problem hiding in the background, though. We’ve been introduced to a long-time family friend of Mo-eun’s, YOON JO-HAN (Lee Jae-kyoon), who the drama is spending a lot of time on. Jo-han is a songwriter and music producer and we’ve spent lengthy sequences getting to know that he’s just gone through a recent painful breakup. He’s the one that gave Mo-eun the concert tickets that she presented to Jin-woo — but Jo-han wanted to go with Mo-eun to the show when he gave them to her. He also knows her secret about pursuing acting, because that’s the level of close they are.

All of this has me very worried about a possible love triangle. The worrisome part isn’t that I think Mo-eun would have any interest in him. It’s that I don’t want to see Jin-woo on the outside any further than he already is. If Jo-han starts to pursue Mo-eun, sure, it would test Jin-woo’s insecurities, but I feel like he’s being tested enough. It’s just not something I want to see.

And on the other romance front, we’ve got an enemies-to-lovers side story in the works with boy-crazy Ji-yoo signing up for a gym membership because she heard about the hot new trainer — only to discover it’s Mo-eun’s brother, Mo-dam, who everyone is raving about. So far their relationship is not that exciting, though, and a more interesting dynamic is the friendship between Ji-yoo and Mo-eun. Ji-yoo is a big supporter of Mo-eun’s career change and envies Mo-eun for being honest with herself about her life’s dream. Ji-yoo tells her to keep doing what she wants with her life, even if she’s bad at it. Aww, she’s a good friend.

These episodes gave me a lot to chew on, and I love how the themes of non-belonging and feeling like an outsider are so relevant and resonant. The drama isn’t taking anything away from Jin-woo’s difficult circumstances by telling him that he’s not alone. And I’m charmed by the direction it’s headed, giving Jin-woo the onus — not as blame, but as power. I’ll be mulling this over until next week, when we see where this lovely story takes us.